Another punch in the purse; man status fully achieved

Joe writes:

It’s probably just the way of the world. But our wedding savings took yet another hit this weekend. That sucks, especially when everything was starting to look up.

A little background: Paula and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. We both think the wedding industry involves legal highway robbery, so we’ve been doing what we can to keep things on the cheapies. But that has been tough, because other stuff that sucks away our savings keeps popping up.

We thought that we were going to have to use our economic stimulus checks for Paula’s wrist surgery. No problem: I’d pay for that in a heartbeat. Anything to get her wrist to feel normal, so she can get back on the j’ai alai court. She has mad skills with a sesta. I have the scars to prove it. ANYWAY… when she was able to pay for the up-front costs of the surgery without dipping into that, we were (as the kids say) like, SCORE! We have extra cash, thanks to the lame-brained attempt of our government to spur the economy! Thanks for the wedding gift, George Bush and Nancy Pelosi!

Whoa, got off track there.

ANYWAY… things are looking up. Money in the bank to handle wedding costs. We go shopping for stuff on Friday night. As we were leaving Ruby Tuesday to go get reception stuff, the little battery light on the dashboard comes on. While driving.

Expletive deleted, because my mom reads this.

It’s the alternator. How do I know? Paula is creepy psychic with cars, and she said it was the alternator. She’s not ASE certified, but she oughtta be. The truck sits in the driveway until Sunday morning, when we have to jump it. We go to O’Reilly’s, thinking it’s either the battery or the alternator. We get there, and O’Reilly dude tests it. Battery is bad. Score again, because that’s cheaper to fix! Paula and I install the new battery, and I have O’Reilly dude test it again, just in case. The test shows the alternator is bad, too.

Another expletive deleted.

Long story short, but too late in the post to mean anything: We spent nearly $300 on a new battery and alternator, when we could have been buying reception silverware, margarita makings and a bolt of tulle. (Side note: Did you know tulle has nothing to do with the band Tool? I was bummed, too.)

But the weekend wasn’t a total loss: I became more of a man. In the interest of saving money, I installed the new alternator. Yep. Did it myself, and with the help of two guys at O’Reilly who walked me through it. I am more of a man now. The truck still works, and the “Check Engine” light is off.

Paula channels Modest Mouse:
Battery and alternator got fried on the exactly the same day
Well we’ll float on good news is on the way

And I am not psychic about cars. I have just had more than my share of car trouble. Ok…more than about ten people’s share of car trouble. I learn from experience. Now…if only I could fix the problems myself I’d be in business.

The other day I says to my doctor,”Doc,after my surgery will I be able to play J’ai Alai?”
And he says to me “Not to worry, you’ll be playing in no time!”
So I says “That’s awesome, Doc, because I couldn’t play it before!”

ba dum bum!

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2 Responses to “Another punch in the purse; man status fully achieved”


  1. 1 Pam Dilmore May 21, 2008 at 3:24 am

    Hi Joe: You put in the alternator? Wow! I am very impressed!

    Love, mom

  2. 2 Holly your cousin May 22, 2008 at 5:06 am

    Mike and I enjoyed that story. The creepy psychic part especially.


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